React.Late

Friday, August 21, 2009, 11:15 AM

Up.

What happened yesterday ?

That was the best thing ever since so long.

I think that's the first time, supposingly.

Shall not talk about what happened before school ended,

cause nothing much also.

after school realise my sec 2s are having initiated training,

that was what i am thinking of the night.

this goes to show, what you dream would come through.

it was superbly windy, though it was good for drilling session.

I miss those times when you know, it's so cold, you do drills together with squad mates

and you don't sweat at all.

But those things are the past.

Something comment on.

Boon Jian, he might be a not so serious leader, but he's got the content within.

Well done.

Kevin, must be more serious, moreover you are going to lead the sec 2 for a longer period of time.

for the sec 2s, it was glad to see that they learn pretty fast and endure through.

cause this's like the first training after the stand down of CCA for such a long period of time.

Then I went to look for her around the school, then guess what,

when I walk out of the area near the UG board area, then saw her walking from the general office way.

we walk the that no one noticed us

we met at the stop near the school gate

together we embark on the journey to this far away land.

there came a guy who accompanied us.

that feeling was uneasy,

thinking if he would let the cat out of the bag,

or build unusal castle in the air.

Saturday, August 15, 2009, 6:30 PM

I am sitting in front of my white compaq (HP) laptop posting again.
After looking at the reply Miss Teo post, it really struck me.
It is the time to bark up, wake up, pull up my socks, face the reality that I am... weak.
It is no harm anyway, I share look really in depth into my problems.
Woke up really late this morning, or I should say afternoon as it is already 2.

Just went to face book to check out what's new when I saw this note posted out by my primary school peer.
She a pretty expressive lady, and her note was regarding a perfect boyfriend which I do agree with her, it's pretty impossible to find.
But the way she answered the questions, the answers are really hilarious.
I toppled onto the ground and went rounds upon seeing this reply, "if he's not faithful, i will make it a castrato"
That really sound like some pervert who's a guy crazy despo. (no offence)

I think I am going to flunk my common test as usual.
Interpreted the questions wrongly, don't understand a single word from the Malay text.
Worst, teacher went through the questions right on the spot.
My heart really sank.
I wonder why, but mdm baya did brought up that phrase "Zheng Xiong is okay, see how he improved during the duration between the CT2 and EOY last year"
That was pretty encouraging.
Sometimes it's not something you can control or make decisions about.
Imagine sitting for Malay paper, that's really something you can't control.

It's okay, I always tell myself, they are life skills you have to master, not the hard facts you have to memorise.
It's the stupid, arrogant, incapable and always likes to build castle in the air kind of people you have to ignore (or give them a good scolding to just make them wake up but who are they anyway?) and to treat those who gave you a pull and made you a better person, great.

"Though both of us maybe in the relation of "ai mei"
But just bear with it, the time will come where I can announce to the whole world that you are my darling." adopted from anonymous remarks.

Time to watch the news, input time ;)

Thursday, August 13, 2009, 6:31 PM

现在唯有哭泣的勇气。

只有一字能形容我现在的我。

烂透。

什么都搞不好，什么都做不成。

我真是被压得喘不过气了。

好想就这样疯了。

我做错了决定了吗？

就一定要这样作弄我吗？

什么都没了，真的，没了。

老天为何呢？

是天意吗？

不能，我不能到下。

我一定要爬起来。

我受不了刺激，

我再不嫉妒了，

我真的不会了，

已忘了如何怎么样去爱一个人

我知道那很平常但。。

这时候说会火上加油，在伤口上撒盐。。

好痛好痛。。

我笑是为了掩护

我早就忘了如何真正笑，

真正开心，真正让心笑。

只能用虚假的笑声来遮盖我不开心的面目。

教我，教我如何笑，

如何看开，

如何真的去做个人。

如何以最真，最纯真的感情面对每日的早晨。

我已无法自拔了。

我好想念，好想念，以前。。。

Tuesday, August 11, 2009, 3:43 PM

I was surfing the net when I saw this particular article.

The poor boy, the rich girl, couple?

The story goes like this.

The boy who's really poor studies in this institution same as this rich girl.

They didn't know each other after a very very long time.

Both of them didn't notice each other.

Until the day the girl broke up with her ex.

They started chatting, having really great times together.

The boy was pretty shy when conversing as he was poor and the girl was rich.

Both of them just had the chemistry.

Owning to the fact that the girl is good-looking, she's got a lot of suitors.

The boy knew he could not give the girl any sort of future, and hence he started persuading the girl to go for a better guy.

At that time the boy didn't know the girl likes him.

The boy wasn't able to text the girl as he was really too poor to afford it.

So he decided to write to her.

The boy has made up his mind to give up.

He wrote the last letter.

"Can you be mine, love ?"

He didn't reply to any of the texts, letters after that letter.

Soon the girl lose contact with him and found herself a better boy.

The boy didn't emark on a new relationship whereas to wait.

"Are you willing to wait for me ?"

He did.

The boy read every letter she wrote to him and cried himself to sleep everynight.

What a tragedy.

I would say, hopefully that won't happen to me,

but soon to become.

I realise. . .

Saturday, August 8, 2009, 10:31 PM

Alright going to post.

What's the feeling when you are on cloud nine.

It's great isn't it. I was on cloud ten yesterday nine.

She told me; "frankly speaking, yes"

that was when I asked her if she've got feeling for me.

It's like she's the first ever girl who say that.

Oh my god, can't believe.

I bit myself and realise I am bleeding, Alright i am not dreaming.

That only goes to say that...

10:17 PM

An evening at T3. These pictures taken by me.

I know they are great. Just some comments.

She's cute, adorable and whatever it's that make you wanna say"OMG, you are so cute."

9:44 PM

RHD part 1

RHD part 2

WARNING: some parts of the video might not be suitable mirrors, so children are advise to watch the video under the supervision of an adult.

6:08 PM

This video is a video i took long ago, when I was at the East Coast.

I found the drifting quite interesting new so I took it down.

Hope you guys like it too.

Friday, August 7, 2009, 9:38 PM

Not gonna talk really in depth of today's NDP celebration,

but instead something which really gives me a million thoughs to post.

NDP celebration, a million thanks to all my dearest GOH, well done.

I might not be some one everyone like but at least you guys cooperated with my team and myself.

Thank you so so so much.

For the NE champs maybe, not under the strict supervision, they seems to screw up the rest of the programme of the NDP.

During the closing speech, wasn't paying a single unit of attention to a single word,

was just looking far across from my side.

trying to catch sign of her.

red, red, red, every single where.

Can't really locate but in the end still managed to find her.

After the NDP, went down first, though wouldn't see her but instead saw her walking down.

I was standing at the NE threater asking how's everything going,

thanking them but I was actually there for...

Went to canteen, saw her, she turned, I walked away

I went up with Yi Shen, asking him whether do he want lunch.

Actually, I just wanted to hide.

When I came down once again.

They gone, disappointed.

The most "heartening" thing is I asked if people wanna lunch out, no one replied

Fine I went for a basketball session to release my steam.

I don't wish to ask so many times, I just want an answer.

You might say you are distracted but did you bother to pay attention to my existence.

You might not appreciate the 100 plus but for all you know, i carried it all the way from my house to the school.

Stopping, pausing, just to get the strenght to carry on.

I know it's easy to say, "aiya 1 can of 100 plus nia"

But at the same time it also tear my heart, my sincerity, my effort into 100 plus.

Feel for others, not because i am doing it for the seek of showing how rich I am.

I am not rich, just because i promise,

I kept my promise, as simple as that.

It's easy to say "er.. I am under budget constraint, hence no H2O for today, I am sorry"

forget it, it hurts for reminding myself about it.

the leaves falls,

The truth reveals,

could there be unturns,

there are still uncertainties.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 5:33 PM

Have wanted to post this photo for a very very long time.

But didn't got the chance to do so.

This picture depicts a scene at Riverside Secondary School's parade square.

This might remind you of some singing competition; the hand gestures & face expression

But in actual fact I have giving instruction to these school,

who have kindly took time off to attend an inter-unit captain ball's competition.

I am the organising head.

5:26 PM

Gonna post again.

The type of feeling is back again.

The agony of no courage, just couldn't get things right.

I don't know about what's going on, she's becoming like someone I like.

Which mean, in future, it will be harder to converse with her.

It doesn't matter, since I don't talk to her often, and she doesn't talk to me anyway.

No, I want to, but I don't dare.

It takes a million courage to really look into her eyes and start speaking.

There's resistance, I don't know how the hell i came out with such term but the feeling is just as such.

I can tell she avoiding me also.

I sounded like some sex maniac.

Today, I really want to join but, you know there's just something come pushing from my back as, pushing me onto the route home.

I though no one would notice; i can walk home without saying bye.

But unfortunately, that's not the case, they saw me.

I have left with no choice but to bid fare well.

At that every instance, time stopped,

I could feel my heart beat, without fail, it's still beating, but at a pretty unnormal rate.

Fast, slow, moderate, it left me in a doubt.

She looked and I didn't manage to look back after a glance upwards.

I could only stop Annie that really "unhappy" look

and nothing else.

Why is this happening , didn't i told myself to stop this kind of nonsense.

Oh dear, just stop it !

I mean it ! That's what I am reminding every time I try to do weird things like glancing over to the class opposite mine to see if she's there.

The moment the bell ring I knew it was not fate, she's not there.

I turned my head with disappointment, with my feelings already sunken to the bottom of my foot.

Get rid of the rusty coat of my body,

It's really tiring and annoying myself,

I have to move with whatever I have,

And the things I am going to impact,

I will pray, that time wouldn't as bad

As before, as how I cope with previous

relations.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009, 9:10 PM

Alright basically gonna post again.
I don't know what's happening, people just do not believe that what i am saying is true. I really think common trust is really extremely important. Why do we need trust, how do we see trust, why is it present. Why can't we just live without it ? We need trust. Trust is like a bridge from one being to another. If we do not travel, think communicate along the same bridge, how can achieve the link that's within, how can be truly understand what other beings are thinking ? For example, I say I miss you , I say i love you but you treat it as a joke, that's obviously no trust. This could bring about two possible outcome. one, if the person doesn't want the opposite party to learn the fact that he/she fancies him/her, then great, he/she doesn't know. But on the other hand if it's the other way round, then the fellow must be darn heart broken; I made it so obvious and you treat it as a joke, wa pain man !
How do you see trust ? Good question, actually put it in a more proper form trust is a form of potential energy that you feel. You might ask what exactly is the feel of the feel. To different people, it varies. Your sense of trust might be, warm, the warm people gives you. But my trust might be sweet, the sweetness. To me trust is not something you can talk about. Recently I just realise a new form of trust. I look into her eyes, it really tells a million stories. Shinning like a jem, as powerful as some weapon. I can't really describe the feeling but it gives some sense of security, maybe that's trust. I don't know is it the other way round too.
Some times, it takes a harder route to get to goal, if you are lucky, it's soomther.
I have been through this too many times already.

Saturday, August 1, 2009, 11:38 PM

Post time. today my team grab a trophey back to riverside NPCC unit.
my phone rang, oh it's the alarm, pretty excited already the night before.
Turned in at 2.30am.
got everything ready, i embarked on the journey to woodlands MRT control station.
I was thinking, it's time for back, CSS.
We got trashed really hard by them the year before but we managed to keep a 3rd.
When we were there, the atmosphere weren't really there yet.
There were only 3 teams.
I could see the disppointment in the organiser's reflection.
"i though tere would be like 10 or more units coming but nevermind let's carry on with the breifing"
I think that some of the cadets from other unit are not showing the respect they are supposed to show.
Yes respect is earned but as long as you are the junior, you jolly well show that respect,
which you need to show just because you are a junior.
someone, who knows less, who's still inexperience, who's just someone who need to learn.
Alright 1st game, against marsiling. riverside 5, marsiling 3.
It really a WARM-UP ROUND !
We nearly lost the match.
They were strong i agareed, I wanted to give up but i told myself, for my unit, for team-mate, for glory,
I carried on.
On the second half of the first match, I think it's because of a lack of strategy
we lost a lot and the other team managed to catch up abit.
finally the match ended, phew, we actually won.
the match which my team feared the most was the one against fuchun.
fortunately, we took them down with the score of 8 to 0.

i think in competition, in life, there will be lose and win.
if we win okay thta's great but if we lose..
i would prefer to lose cause, it's a kind of challenge.
one that you hate to face but you have to overcome.
some people might result to more violent and negative mehtod
but some you can do it the other way round.